


The Worst

by bayoublackjack



Series: Love in London [26]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Human Doctor (Doctor Who), Implied Rose/Ninth Doctor, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Infidelity, POV Martha Jones, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3222533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bayoublackjack/pseuds/bayoublackjack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Tom is back, Martha has to sort through her feelings and a revelation about John's relationship with Rose further complicates things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst

Martha’s life had been a veritable rollercoaster for the last few months and Tom’s return sent her barrelling off the rails.  She had spent so long wishing for his return and now that he was back, she was more miserable than ever.

His first night back, Tom was eager to reconnect and Martha did her best to hold it together while she played the part of the happy fiancée.  The two of them fall into bed just like old times, but for Martha too much had changed.  She might have been in Tom’s arms but her thoughts were with John and the act of betrayal they had committed on that very same spot.

The next few days she threw herself into her work, taking on as many extra shifts as she could.  The less time she spent with Tom the better, especially when she came home from work too exhausted to do much of anything.

At the end of her latest shift, Martha checked her watch.  She should have been off the clock half an hour ago, but her relief hadn’t shown up yet.  Lately, she’d be pleased to have an excuse to avoid going home.  However, this time she had good reason for concern.  John was missing and he was never late for work.

Martha’s mobile began to ring and her first instincts were that it would be John ringing to explain himself, but instead it was Tom.  “I know I said I’d be home soon, but my relief hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Should I hold off on dinner?” Tom asked.

“Eat without me.  I’ll grab something on the way home.”

“Alright.”  Tom sighed.  “I love you.”

Martha closed her eyes tightly.  “Me too,” she said quickly and ended the call.

“No phones on the floor, Dr Jones,” Rory teased as he passed her on the way to the nurses’ station.

“Sorry,” Martha replied as she pocketed her mobile.  “It was my fiancé.”

“Wedding is still on then?”

Martha stared at him in confusion.  “Why wouldn’t it be?” she asked.  He couldn’t have known about her and John.  Could he?

“No reason.”  Rory answered.  “Actually…there  _is_ something I’ve been meaning to ask you, but I’m not entirely sure that it’s appropriate.  I mean I like to  _think_ you and I are close, but I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.”

Martha sighed.  “I think I know what you’re going to say.”

“It’s just that Amy insisted that I ask.”

Martha paused.  “Amy?”

“My girlfriend.”

“You have a girlfriend?”

Rory chuckled awkwardly.  “No need to sound so shocked.”

“Sorry.  I just…”  Martha began, but stopped and changed course.  “Never mind.  What was your question?”

“I have this band and I was wondering if you’d consider hiring us on for your wedding reception.”

“You have a band?”

“Yea, we’re called Pandorica,” Rory informed her.  “It’s me, Amy, our best mate Mels and a bloke named Smith.  He and Mels are sort of on again off again, but they’re on again so we’re good to perform.”

“That’s…interesting,” Martha said politely.  “I’ll let you know, but speaking of blokes named Smith.  Have you heard from Dr Smith?  He was supposed to relieve me by now.”

“No.  Sorry.”  Rory shook his head.  “He’s been properly out of it lately, hasn’t he?”

“Yea,” Martha answered quietly.  She felt her insides tighten from the guilt.  Since Tom had returned she began to shut John out as well, even going as far as to switch shifts to avoid him.

“Must be that thing with his wife that’s got him so down.”

Martha was momentarily stunned into silence by his words.  “His what?”

“Wife,” Rory repeated.  “That Rose woman that keeps ringing and leaving messages for him.”

Martha cleared her throat and attempted to recover from the shock of the revelation.  “I wasn’t aware that he was married.”

“Apparently it ended badly.  She left him for another man and he’s supposedly been desperate to get her back.”  Rory shrugged.  “Strange, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“How you think you know someone and then you learn that they have a whole other side to them that you never even knew about.”

Martha nodded slowly.  “I’m not sure if strange is the word I’d use.”  She checked her watch again.  “Things are fairly slow right now, so I think I should go round Dr Smith’s flat to make sure that he’s okay.  Ring me if anything changes.”

“Yea, alright.”

Martha quickly gathered her things and headed over to John’s flat.  He had a lot to answer for and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.  Once she reached his place, she banged loudly on the door.  “John!  Open up!”

He only opened the door a crack, but it was enough for Martha to see that he looked worse for the wear.  “What are you doing here?” he asked.  His voice was tired and his tone conveyed a strange combination of shock, shame and frustration.

“I could ask you the same question.  You’re on call tonight.”

“Something came up,” John replied opening the door wider for her and closing it behind once she was inside.  “I got Grace Holloway to cover for me.  Probably was a bit late though.  She was in the middle of the opera when I rang.”

“What could have  _possibly_ come up that was more important than your job?” Martha demanded.  “Was it your wife?”

John laughed mirthlessly.  “No, but Rose is part of it.”  He walked over to the kitchen and lifted an empty bottle out of the bin and set it on the counter.

Martha stared at it in shock then looked back up at him.  “Have you been drinking?”

“No, but I bought it, which is a problem in and of itself,” John said.  “I guess I had a taste for gin and lemonade,” he quipped as he dropped it back in the bin.  “Donna poured it out.”

“Donna?”

“Donna Noble, my sponsor,” John explained, moving back over to where she stood.  “I met her in AA right after the Rose thing.”

“Don’t call it a thing,” Martha retorted.  “You’re married!”

“And you’re engaged.”

“That’s not the same and you bloody well know it!”

“Well it’s pretty damn similar.”

“You made vows to her, John, and you made me the other woman when you broke them.”

“And I’m not the other man?” John challenged.  “Am I not just a surrogate for Tom?”

Martha sighed.  “It’s not that simple.”

“Neither is my situation with Rose,” John replied.  “We are married and I do still love her, but a lot has changed since I lost her.  She found someone else.”  He scoffed softly.  “I say found, but it was always him.  He was the man she was with before me.  He was… _is_ the love of her life.  I was just something to pass the time.  I never stood a chance.”

“Is that what I am?  Something to pass the time until your true love comes along?”

“Was I just something to keep your bed warm until Tom returned?”

Martha slapped him hard across the face.  “Don’t you dare!”

John sighed heavily as he rubbed his cheek.  “I deserved that.”

“Damn right you did.”

“Martha, listen to me.”  John reached for her and she took a step away.  “You are not now nor will you ever be a replacement for Rose.  When I look at you, you’re the only person I’m seeing.  The only one I  _want_ to see.”  He turned away from her and walked over to his desk.  “Which is why I finally signed this.”

Martha looked at the paper in his hand.  “Is that…”

“Divorce papers,” he confirmed with a nod and set the document down again.  He moved to close the gap between them again.  “It’s time for me to let go of the past.”

“You can’t leave your wife for me.”

“You are part of the reason I signed those papers, but I did it just as much for Rose as I did for you.  And most of all, I did it for me.  Rose has already moved on.  It’s about time I’ve done the same.  Martha…I love you.”

“No!”  Martha closed her eyes.  “Don’t say that!”

“Whether I say it out loud or not, it doesn’t change how I feel.”  John put his hands on her shoulders.  “I don’t care if it’s wrong or right.  I am in love with you.”

Martha opened her eyes and looked into his.  “So what now?  Do you expect me to leave Tom because you’ve fallen for me?”

John exhaled sharply.  He opened his mouth to speak, but bit back his words as if he thought better of what he was about to say.  “I expect you to do what makes you happy,” he answered after a brief pause.  “I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t hope it was me, but I don’t want to put any pressure on you.”

Martha scoffed.  “There’s already pressure.”

“Seriously.”  John moved his hands to her arms and rubbed them reassuringly.  “This is an important decision that only you can make and if I’m the one that you choose, then I will be right here waiting for the chance to prove that I am worthy of you.  And if you choose Tom…I’ll respect your wishes because Martha Jones you are an amazing woman and you deserve to be happy.”

Martha eased into his arms, happy to feel them around her once more.  She knew she shouldn't be, but she was happy when she was with him.  Tom was at home waiting for her.  She had been dying for him to come back to her and he finally had.  She should have been spending her every waking moment by his side, but she was with John instead.

She wished she could go back to before everything had gotten complicated, but she couldn’t.  This was the bed she had made for herself and now she had to lie in it.  She made mistake after mistake after mistake and now she’d have to deal with the consequences.

She needed to go home.  She needed to be with Tom.  She needed to make amends for the sins he didn’t know she committed.  She needed to prove her love to him.  She needed to do so many things to set right all of her wrongs.  But she didn’t any of that.  Instead she looked up into John’s eyes, tears forming in the corner of hers.  “I’m happy when I’m with you,” she said softly.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” John told her.

Martha nodded as the tears began to fall.  “I know.  I just…can you…can you just hold me?”

“Absolutely,” John said and tightened his hold on her.

Martha buried her head against his chest and cried.  John caressed her back and kissed her head softly all the while.  Then once she regained her composure she looked up at him again.  “I don’t want to go home yet.”

“You don’t have to go.  You can stay as long as you like,” John promised.  He cupped her face wiped her tears away with his thumbs.  “What can I do?”

Martha pulled him down to her height and kissed him.  “Make me feel happy again.”

John kissed her back fiercely.  “With pleasure,” he said in a husky voice as he lifted her into his arms and carried her off to his bedroom.


End file.
